


Santa Tell Me

by ghostofcalum



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baker Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Hocker Player Steve Rogers, M/M, Mushy, Soft Hockey Boys, christmas love story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21648985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostofcalum/pseuds/ghostofcalum
Summary: Bucky is a small town baker with a broken heart and Steve's a hockey player who hasn't been home for ten years.-Based on "Santa Tell Me," by Ariana Grande
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki Past, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 26
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or anything related. This story is purely fiction and written for fun and not associated with them.
> 
> My own take on a Christmas love story. Enjoy!

**Little Falls**

* * *

“Did you hear?” Natasha smiled over at Bucky, walking in for her shift.

She took off her heavy coat and hung it up near the door, her cheeks red from the cold. Her red hair sticking up when she took off her beanie. She came over and gave him that _look_ that meant she was up to something.

They were both working in the bakery that stood near the ice ring in their small town. It was Bucky’s small business that he ran with Natasha’s assistance. It was starting to get busier this time of year with the holidays approaching. The snow was already falling and sticking to the ground. They had already decorated the storefront for Christmas with bright lights and trees near the small entrance. The bakery smelled like peppermint and it was so welcoming to the people who walked by. It was a little business, but it brought in good money, especially during the Christmas season. Bucky had opened the bakery a few years ago and he treasured it.

“Hear _what_?” Bucky shot her an annoyed expression, taking out some cookies from the ovens.

He knew from experience that she probably had some gossip he was not going to be a fan of. Natasha _loved_ to get under his skin and that was probably why they worked so well together. She wasn’t afraid to press his buttons and he wasn’t afraid to retaliate.

“Come on, are you serious? _Steve Rogers_ is back, apparently, can you believe that? I was down at the store and I overheard _Peggy_ telling someone that he’s back for the holidays. He’s coaching the little league hockey team. This is wild, that guy hasn’t been back for _years_ ,” Natasha beamed.

Bucky rolled his eyes again and moved the cookies onto the cooling rack.

Bucky didn’t care about Steve Rogers being in town. He didn’t care about the hotshot rich hockey player that played for the NHL. He had gone to school with Steve back in the day and even then, the guy was a pain in his ass. Steve had played hockey since they were in kindergarten and he’d gone to play for one of the best teams of the NHL. Although, Bucky had never been close friends with Steve, he had seen him around. Their town was small, so there had been no avoiding him. He didn’t really see Steve changing much in a decade.

“What do we owe the honors to?” Bucky sarcastically bit, trying to get a reaction out of her.

“Don’t be so sour, Buck. He’s visiting his family,” Natasha retaliated, grinning.

“Well, I’m sure everyone is _starstruck_.”

Their town was small, and any commotion caused an uproar. He knew people were probably gossiping like mad over Steve Rogers. Word spread fast through the help of people like Peggy.

Who even cared about that guy? Bucky sure didn’t especially when the holiday orders were beginning to come in. He had dozens of cakes to bake, cookies to frost, cupcakes to decorate and to make sure he kept his sanity along the way.

“Aw, he’s a sweet guy, don’t you remember?” Natasha teased, wiping down the counter before they opened.

“He lives in Toronto and he’s rich, doesn’t really scream _sweet_ ,” Bucky counteracted, pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen out of his little bun.

“Peggy told me there are rumors that he’s sponsoring the Christmas festival downtown. Imagine how wonderful that’ll be. He definitely has the money to add some _pizzazz_ to it.”

Bucky shot her a death glare. She knew very well that _he_ organized the Christmas festival and he did not want Steve Rogers messing up his plans. Bucky had worked hard to become the head of that festival, he had beat that old lady _fair and square_ for the position during the council meeting. He put everything he had into that festival and this year would be no different.

“Well, _isn’t he just great_ ,” Bucky mockingly muttered, wiping his hands off that were covered in flour.

“Maybe he’ll play in the annual hockey game? That would surely convince people to come and help raise money for the festival,” Natasha began to ramble, already envisioning it with bright eyes.

“Don’t get your hopes up, especially if it’s the first time he’s been home for ten years,” Bucky stomped on her dreams, sticking his tongue out at her.

Bucky didn’t mean to be _Grinch_ , but Christmas time was difficult for him. Two years ago, he had been in a completely different position in his life. He had been engaged to who he thought of was the love of his life, planning his dream wedding, and living with his future husband. Now, he was single, heartbroken, living with his cat, and stressing overrunning his bakery.

Don’t get Bucky wrong, he _loved_ his cat. Frosting was his best friend next to Natasha and she had helped him get over his ex-fiancé when he had adopted her. But it was difficult to be happy when he’d found out that his ex-fiancé was back in town with his new wife. It just didn’t seem fair somehow, why was Bucky the one still suffering when that asshole had already moved on?

Natasha was constantly getting onto him about bringing the mood down, but he didn’t care. He wanted to sulk and be miserable. He wanted to go home and eat his weight in the muffins that he couldn’t sell because they had come out less than perfect.

He didn’t want to see his ex-fiancé around town, much less _Steve Rogers_.

“Oh, imagine it, they’ll probably ask him to light the tree this year. I can already see it, _Little Fall’s own Steve Rogers commences the annual Christmas festival_ ,” Natasha teased, moving out of the way when Bucky came at her with sprinkles.

“Stop,” he snickered, throwing some more at her for good measure.

“I can already see it Bucky, everyone is gathered in the plaza, Steve is up on the stage near the tree,” she continued to annoy him, playing out her scenario.

Bucky rolled his eyes at her and went back to making sure he had everything in order before they opened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is so fun to write. a little sad chapter but fluff is soon to come. also shopping cart or a buggy, they're called so many things.

**_First part: Christmas Makes Me Cry by Kacey Musgraves_ **

* * *

Bucky made his way to his kitchen with Frosting running around his legs. He had gotten up extra early today since he had to make a run to the retail warehouse store to pick up more sugar. It was a bit of a drive out of town and he had to make it back before the bakery’s opening time. He didn’t want to make Natasha go out of her way to go to the store, especially when she had a child to wrangle plus a husband.

Bucky knew he could swing by and get the supplies before the crowds from the surrounding towns arrived to shop. He didn’t have anyone at home to care for besides his cat. He turned on his kettle so he could have some coffee and _not_ be a living zombie that morning.

“Oh, I _hear_ you, breakfast is coming,” Bucky chuckled at his cat’s demanding meows from the ground. 

The cat began to pure and rub against his leg as she waited for him to scoop some food into her bowl.

“So, what are you asking Santa for?” He asked Frosting as if she could answer him.

“You’ve been _awfully_ bad, though, not sure if he’s going to bring you anything,” he teased, reaching down to pet her little head.

“What am I asking for? Ugh, God, I don’t even know. Maybe that Loki and his new wife never come back,” Bucky frowned, grabbing a cup for his coffee.

Frosting looked up from her food bowl and let out a chirp.

“I am _not_ being petty,” Bucky countered, stirring his coffee. 

“I don’t care that he’s back with his new wife, Frosting. How could you assume that? You’re supposed to be on my side. They’re just _so_ perfect together, at least that’s what I’ve been hearing at work from customers,” Bucky grumbled, looking out the window at the snow that was falling.

He finished his coffee and went over to grab his list for the store. He wanted to make sure that he had everything written down before he headed out. It was snowing and he made sure to dress for the weather. His little house was being warmed by the little fireplace that he had mixed feelings about.

He had wholesome memories that now plagued his nightmares. Memories from being wrapped up with his ex-fiancé on cold nights that still lived in his mind, no matter how hard he tried to forget. He still thought about it when he felt alone and there was nothing to distract him from his mind. He hadn’t decorated the inside of his home for Christmas for the past two years and he had a feeling that this year would be no different. Christmas just brought back sad memories and it was difficult to cope alone.

He had met Loki when they were both in high school. Loki had moved from another state because of his mom’s job and _Bucky_ was so in love from day one. They had been high school sweethearts and Bucky remembered how lucky he had felt at that memory. Loki _swept_ him off his feet and Bucky was putty in his hands.

It had been such a happy and easy time in his life, and he missed it _a lot_. It was easy being with Loki like breathing and he didn’t find it difficult to be himself.

But Loki had grown tired of Bucky and the life they lived in their small town. They were feelings that Loki didn’t feel the need to share with Bucky because of the fear of hurting him. Thoughts and feelings that ran through Loki’s mind while they were living together after getting engaged, while they were spending the holidays with Bucky’s family, while he watched the way Bucky’s eyes would light up when they talked about the future.

The day that Loki left was a memory that constantly replayed in Bucky’s mind. Bucky would lay awake at night, thinking about what he had done wrong, where their relationship and love had died, and how Bucky couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed. Bucky had woken up that morning to an empty bed and with several of Loki’s things gone from their room, well _Bucky’s_ room now.

He had tried to call Loki while he sat in disbelief. He couldn’t believe how _cowardly_ Loki had acted. He hadn’t spoken to Loki since he had left, and the wound still pained him.

Loki had left him a letter, with an apology for leaving. He had written about being bored with this life but not wanting to hurt Bucky. He wrote about wanting to move on and live in different places and how uninterested he had been when they were working in the bakery. He wanted Bucky to move on and find someone who would love him the way he deserved but, _it was so hard_.

He had seen Loki a few months ago with someone new. Natasha and Peggy had told him that it was his new wife he had met in the city he lived in. They had both tried to shield him from the couple, but Bucky knew he couldn’t avoid them.

It had hurt, _a lot_ when he saw them. They had been at watching the fourth of July fireworks in the plaza and Bucky had gone home soon after. He’d burrowed himself in his little house with his cat. His sister, Rebecca had been the one to come over and consul him. She had been his rock during the road to recovery and he was grateful for it. He felt stupid for still being heartbroken, but he had planned his whole life around this guy who had just vanished one day.

Now, Bucky lived alone and drowned himself with work and planning activities for his town. If he kept himself busy, he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts. He wouldn’t have to exist outside of his façade and it helped keep his sister and friends at bay.

Bucky snapped out of his thoughts and reached down to put on his shoes before grabbing his car keys so he could head out. The morning was still dark, and his Christmas lights were still visible. They had been hanging for a few years, ever since Loki had put them up and Bucky _still_ couldn’t bring himself to take them down.

* * *

The drive to the store was very peaceful, he had done it several times. It was a bigger store than the one they had in town and it was cheaper than buying from certain distributors that charged him _an arm and a leg_ to deliver to Little Falls. He would rather make the drive and get exactly what he wanted.

He parked his car and grabbed a massive shopping cart to begin his shopping. He was on a mission and he knew what aisles he had to hit.

The store was still pretty empty besides the employees and a few customers. The shopping cart was easy to maneuver without people crowding the walkways.

He finally reached the sugar and began to load the massive bags into his cart. Most of the bags were on the bottom and middle shelves but he needed to stock up for the season now. He emptied out the shelves he could reach before realizing that he needed the last few on the top shelves.

“ _Shit,_ ” he realized, looking around to see if there were any employees nearby to help him.

_Come on, Bucky, you’re short not helpless_ , he thought to himself.

He began to extend his arms and stand on the tips of his toes, his fingers trying to reach _any_ part of the sugar bags. The tips of his fingers barely scraped the bags, but they weren’t long enough to grip them.

“Oh, my gosh, Steve, _go_ help that poor boy,” he heard a woman shriek a few feet away from him.

He was too focused on trying to grab the bags that he didn’t even process that they were talking about him.

Suddenly, someone _taller_ stood behind him, long arms reaching past his and grabbing the sacks with ease.

“ _Here_ , I got it,” the man expressed, dropping the bags into Bucky’s shopping cart like they weighed nothing.

Bucky whipped around; his face flushed red from embarrassment from the unexpected help he was receiving. He was met with a tall blond with a strong built. The man had a full beard and blonde hair that was pushed back with a beanie. He was smiling at Bucky after dropping the last sack of sugar into the shopping cart.

“ _Oh_ , ugh, _you_ , _you_ didn’t have to do that,” Bucky began to voice, stumbling over his words.

It took Bucky a second to realize who the man was. It was Steve, Steve Rogers.

_Steve Rogers_ had just helped Bucky and he couldn’t stop his face from burning. He couldn’t believe his reaction to the guy.

_Get it together_ ,” Bucky mentally scolded himself.

“It’s not a problem, besides, it looked like you were struggling,” Steve smiled, his hands now stuffed into the pockets of his coat.

“ _Uh_ , thank you, _um_ , I appreciate it,” Bucky mumbled, his voice still not meeting his brain.

“Don’t worry, happy to help when I can. I feel like I remember your face, but I will admit, your name isn’t coming as easy,” Steve admitted, letting out a nervous laugh as he scratched the side of his beard.

Bucky bit his lip and met Steve’s eyes. “That’s okay, don’t expect you to remember me. It took me a second to remember you if I’m being honest. You’re _much_ taller than I remember. My name is Bucky Barnes, well James, but Bucky.”

“Well, Bucky but James, but Bucky, it’s _nice_ to see you again. I remember you from school, yeah but your hair is a little longer, it’s a good look,” Steve confessed, his eyes looking over at Bucky’s hair.

“ _Oh_ , thank you, yeah, it’s something new I’m trying,” Buck admitted, his hand coming up to touch his hair that came to his chin.

“A lot of my buddies have long hair, don’t know how they maintain it though,” Steve laughed, his eyes lighting up

“You’re a pretty big deal around here, everyone has been talking about you since you arrived,” Bucky nervously tried to joke, hating how struck he was by Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes and huffed. “ _Yeah_ , I’ve noticed, it wasn’t something I had been expecting if I’m being honest. I came home to escape it, but it seems like a jinx that just follows me around.”

“Well, they do print your highlights in the newspaper and announce it on the radio,” Bucky gave him a little smile, balancing a lot of his weight on one foot.

“Are you a big fan?” Steve smirked.

“ _Am I?_ Oh, I don’t know? You’re a difficult person to avoid hearing about here,” Bucky admitted, trying to keep his composure.

“I remember playing hockey with that one guy you dated in high school. Do you remember him? He was really thin and had black hair, sort of long,” Steve began to ramble, gesturing with his hand.

Bucky immediately felt his stomach drop and his mood go sour. He looked over at his shopping cart that was now weighed down with all the sugar. His hands came up to grip the metal to release some of the anger that now flowed through him.

“I know who you’re talking about. Thank you for helping me, but I have to get going,” Bucky stated, moving himself to push the shopping cart.

“Here,” Steve impulsively said, coming over to the front of the shopping cart, “let me push that for you to the register.”

Bucky began to shake his head but Steve had already placed himself at the front. “No, I can do it, it’s okay. You’ve already helped me enough.”

“It’s pretty heavy, come on,” Steve smiled, already beginning to push the cart.

Bucky stood in disbelief before he ran to catch up with Steve.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're moving fast but I keep reminding myself it's like the cheesy Christmas movies. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

I

Inside the bakery

* * *

Bucky was unusually happy when he walked into work the next day.

Natasha looked up from where she was mopping when he walked in. Her eyes immediately zoomed into his uncommon mood as soon as she laid eyes on him.

“Well, _hello_ , what’s got you all cheerful?” she questioned him.

“Nothing, Nat,” he rolled his eyes, taking off his coat and shrugging.

“It’s very unlike you, I’m just saying,” she pointed out, shooting him an annoyed look when he didn’t tell her.

“I just had a good day, yesterday,” he defended himself, walking over to the register to get the day started.

“ _Yesterday_? I call bullshit, I heard about the dilemma that you had with Harriet and the lemon cake order,” she laughed, coming over to the counter to lean on it.

“Is it really that _scandalous_ that I’m happy today?” He rolled his eyes, chuckling as he counted the money.

“For you? Yes, yes, it is, Bucky.”

“Well, if you must know, I saw _Steve Rogers_ , yesterday at the supply store,” he bit, not looking up at her reaction.

“Steve Rogers?” She gasped, grinning like mad.

Bucky shrugged and kept his eyes on the register as if it was nothing.

“No wonder you’re all smiles. I thought you didn’t care about him being back in town,” she hounded.

“I _don’t_ , but he was nice enough to help me load the sugar into my car,” he told her, trying to keep his smile down.

“ _Did he now_?” She shot him a cheeky look, enjoying her friend’s relaxed mood.

“Yes, he did,” Bucky bit back at her.

“Well, I’m happy you’re in such a good mood, today.”

“My mom said the same thing last night at dinner,” Bucky chuckled, going over to wash his hands.

* * *

Bucky was looking over at the little clock on the register’s digital screen as he stood behind the counter at the bakery. He was ready to go home and get some rest. It had been a _long_ day and he felt beat down. The holiday orders were getting insane and he was beginning to feel the impact.

He only had a few minutes left before he got to close and go home. The morning and afternoon had been busy, and it had finally calmed down. He could see the people walking around through the windows shopping and laughing together.

He had been cautious about going out lately, with Loki back in town. He didn’t want to risk running into them and having his soul even more shattered. His mom had been upset with him because apparently, he had been shutting himself away lately.

He pulled his phone out and began to scroll through his social media to pass the time when he heard the bell go off.

He put his phone down and looked up, _surprise_ hitting him when he saw the person.

“Hi, _um_ , what can I help you with?” Bucky began to murmur, his cheeks beginning to turn red.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t know _you_ worked here. Funny to run into you again,” Steve smiled, coming over to the counter with a list in his hand.

“Yeah, it’s _um_ , my bakery,” Bucky smiled, biting his bottom lip to calm his nerves.

Steve looked over at him in surprise, nodding. “ _Really?_ Well, that’s pretty neat. I remember the old general store that used to be here. I almost thought I was insane when my mom told me the address to get here.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I opened it when the building went up for rent, so it wasn’t that long ago.”

“ _Ah_ , well, that’s probably why I couldn’t remember,” Steve nodded, his eyes looking up as he thought.

“So, James _but_ Bucky, I have a list here from my mom for Christmas orders. She kept telling me how good the cookies from here are so _hopefully_ , they live up to the hype,” Steve teased, his laugh making Bucky’s mind spin.

 _“Jeez, relax, you’re acting as you’ve never been around a guy before_ ,” Bucky scolded himself, trying to contain his emotions.

“Well, hopefully, cause now I’m feeling a little self-cautious about my baking now,” Bucky tried to joke.

“Oh, no, don’t be. I love to eat, so don’t think that I’m that harsh of a critique.”

“Would, um, you like to try one? You can choose any from the displays,” Bucky offered, gesturing to the cookies and pastries in the displays against the walls.

“If you’re offering,” Steve laughed, going over to the cookies.

Bucky watched him, looking over the nice coat he was wearing and how his beanie squished his blond hair down. Steve was so tall and had a muscular build. Bucky remembered watching some bits and pieces of his hockey games on TV when he was surfing through the channels. Steve was an amazing player and Bucky couldn’t believe that he was _here_ , in his bakery, eating _his cookies._

“Wow, these are really good,” Steve turned around, praising Bucky’s baking.

“Well, I’m glad you like them. My mom gave me the recipe that she’s had from forever ago,” Bucky told him, giving him a little smile.

“They _definitely_ live up to my mom’s hype,” Steve grinned. 

“I’ll take compliments from where I can get them,” Bucky smiled.

* * *

Bucky was meeting with some of the other people on the committee to begin planning the Christmas festival. He was by far, the _youngest_ person in the room. He at least was head of the committee and had somewhat of a say in what was happening. The older people tended to try and override his decision and he hated it.

“So, for the annual hockey game, I vote that we ask Rogers to play. It’ll help get the people out and we could get some _good_ donations,” Gilbert announced, his hands extending out on the table.

“I agree with that. We had such a low turnout last year and this could really help get people more involved,” Frances agreed, scribbling down some notes.

“Well, who’s going to ask him? I’m not going to do it,” Joann asked the group, looking over at Bucky with mischief in her eyes.

Bucky looked up from his own notes after a moment when the room went silent. The three other people were all looking at him with deceiving faces.

“What?” Bucky chuckled, tapping his pen against the table, pushing some hair behind his ear.

“You’re _head_ of this committee, so I vote that you ask him,” Joann suggested, gesturing towards him.

Gilbert and Frances nodded in agreement.

“You’re also the youngest here, I feel like it’s more likely he’ll say yes to you,” Frances pointed out.

“Come on, Bucky, _think_ about it. He might be able to convince some of the guys to play in the hockey game too. We really need this,” Gilbert insisted.

“I mean, maybe, I don’t know. I don’t even have the guy’s contact information,” Bucky sighed, crossing his arms.

“You could go to his parents’ house and see if he’s there,” Frances suggested, backtracking when she saw Bucky’s face.

“I am definitely _not_ going to his house to do that,” Bucky groaned, cringing at that idea entirely.

“Well, then how do we ask him?” Gilbert asked the group, biting the inside of his cheek.

“It would be such a _huge_ hit if he agreed,” Joann tried to guilt-trip him.

“I can’t just show up at his house, _that’s insane_ ,” Bucky scoffed, throwing his hands up.

* * *

Two hours later, Bucky stood outside the Rogers residence. He couldn’t believe he was really about to do this. He could feel the snow in his hair and it was so cold.

He walked up the steps and shoved his hands inside his coat’s pockets while he debated on how to go about this. He knew this was so weird and a bit embarrassing, but he knew how much the committee wanted Steve to be involved in the festival.

He bounced on the heels of his feet for a moment before he finally mustered the courage to ring the doorbell.

He looked up at the Christmas lights that adorned the house for a moment before the door opened and his blood froze.

“Hello, what can I help you with? It’s, uh, James, right? From the bakery?” Joseph Rogers greeted him, trying to pinpoint Bucky’s name with an intense look.

Bucky’s eyes went wide for a moment before he nodded. “Uh, yes, sir. I was wondering if Steve was here? I come on behalf of the Christmas festival committee if that helps my case.”

Joseph leaned on the doorframe and thought about it for a moment. “Give me one second, James.”

Bucky nodded and watched Joseph disappear back into the house. He felt mortified to be out here, probably interrupting their dinner or something. What was he going to do if Steve said no? He was the new head of the committee, he _had_ to deliver this. Well, he had to try his best.

The door reopened and Steve stood on the other side this time wearing a white t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. He looked so handsome and Bucky wanted to melt into the floor.

“Hey, what can I do for you, _James but Bucky_?” Steve teased him, crossing his arms.

“Hi, _um_ , I came—,” Bucky began to pitch his request before Steve cut him off.

“Actually, hold that thought, come inside, it’s _freezing_ ,” Steve laughed, motioning him to come inside with his hand.

Bucky was a little dumbfounded before he followed Steve inside the house. He took off his snow boots and trailed after Steve in the living room.

“Sit down, please,” Steve offered with a smile, sitting down on the couch with a _thump_.

“Oh, thank you,” Bucky told him, his heart beginning to beat frantically.

“So, you were saying outside?” Steve asked him, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

“Oh, _um_ , so, I am head of the committee for the Christmas festival. You remember that festival back when we were kids? The one with the tree lighting and the one that hosts the annual hockey game? So, this is _my_ first year leading it and um, it’s been very highly requested that you play in the hockey game. I know you haven’t done that ever since we were younger but uh, would you please consider it?” Bucky began to word vomit. 

Steve’s mouth began to twist as he thought about Bucky’s request for a moment before he spoke. “Listen, Bucky, it’s not personal but I just don’t think I can. It’s nothing against you, I promise. I’ve really enjoyed seeing you around town.”

Bucky had a feeling that Steve wasn’t going to be that easily convinced. “I get that, you know? I know people are hounding you like mad for no reason and honestly, I don’t understand it myself. You’re still Steve Rogers, you’re just _bigger_ and you play professional hockey versus high school hockey. I know you said that you were trying to get away from that in Canada, but would you _please_ consider it? I know this is a bit selfish but it’s my first year doing this and this is my top request from so many people. I will do anything to convince you to play.”

“Well, don’t try and guilt trip me,” Steve let out a short laugh.

“Is it working?” Bucky teased with a little smile, looking over at Steve. “Listen, I get it, I really do but I will do _anything_. I know this probably more information than needed but it’s been a _weird_ couple of years for me and this really matters to me. I will do anything to get you to play and if you really don’t want to play, do you know other people that might consider playing?”

Steve let out a breath and crossed his arms. “Does it mean that much to you?”

Bucky frowned. “I am here in the middle of heavy snowfall at your house, probably interrupting your family’s dinner, filled with embarrassment and mortification, so yes.”

“Would it really mean that much to _you_?” Steve looked over at him, a deep look in his eyes.

Bucky ran a hand through his dampish hair, leaning back a little bit. “I was engaged to Loki a few years ago. The one with the long black hair who was _awful_ at hockey, if you remember,” Bucky motioned with his hand towards his hair. “We were engaged but it was called off and he’s back with his new wife, which is _awesome_ for me, clearly. But I’ve been doing this festival since I got dumped basically, to get my mind off of this since it happened around Christmas. This is my first year hosting this and I really want to do my best, you know?”

Steve didn’t answer for a moment and looked around the room towards the Christmas tree that was in the corner of the room.

“I can go,” Bucky offered, feeling defeated.

“I’m sorry, Bucky, I just can’t,” Steve frowned, looking down towards the floor.

* * *

“So, here’s what I’m thinking, blue frosting on the top and maybe some silver on the bottom,” Natasha laid out her idea to the customer.

“Oh, I don’t know, I just don’t want that _retro_ look,” the lady huffed, her hands on her hips as she looked down at the design Natasha was drawing.

“Well, that’s okay, we can try something different,” Natasha reassured her, erasing the paper.

Bucky was putting the new pastries into the glass displays, a frown very evident on his face. He was thinking about the Christmas festival and how much he _still_ had to prepare. He still hadn’t told the rest of the committee his failure in getting Steve to play.

He didn’t know what he was going to do to make up for Steve not playing. He knew they were really hoping for that to happen as their main event. He could plan some activities inside the community center or maybe do a food drive. He just had to brainstorm, really. It wasn’t the end of the world.

He was deep in thought when someone came up behind him.

“Hey, uh, _Bucky_?” The voice spoke.

Bucky wiped his hands on his apron and turned around, expecting a customer who needed to place an order.

Much to his surprise, it was Steve.

“Oh, sorry about that. What can I do for you?” Bucky asked him, trying to keep a professional demeanor at his job.

“Can we talk for a second?” Steve requested, looking a little nervous.

“Oh, sure, yeah,” Bucky nodded, going over to put the cookie pans behind the counter.

“Somewhere more private, if that’s okay? If you’re busy, I can come back,” Steve reassured him.

“I have a minute. We can talk in my little office, come on,” Bucky offered, leading Steve towards the back of the bakery.

The little office contained a desk with the desktop and some files as well as two chairs. Bucky sat down and looked over at Steve who sat down after him.

“I was thinking about you asked me,” Steve told him.

“Yeah? I’m sorry about going to your house like some kind of lunatic,” Bucky apologized, looking down at the paper on the desk.

“ _No_ , don’t be sorry, it’s alright. I’ve decided that I’ll play in the hockey game,” Steve smiled.

“ _What_? Are you serious?” Bucky asked him, his mouth forming into a smile.

Steve nodded, “I’ll do it for _you_. I’ve been in your place in the past and it’s hard letting people down. It’s also not fun constantly being reminded of what could've been with past relationships. Besides, I always _fucking_ hated Loki.”

Bucky let out a laugh, “well, that makes two of us now.”

Steve laughed, “I’ll do it on one condition, though.”

“Anything,” Bucky offered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back. Sorry for that long hiatus. Everything with the virus and work has made things crazy. I hope you're all doing well and are ready for the rest of this story.

Bucky came out of the small office after Steve had left. He could see Natasha still talking to the customer, but her eyes kept darting to him, scanning his face for any possible sign of what had just happened.

He went over to the register and began to take off his apron. He was trying his best to make his movements as discreet as possible. If Natasha caught onto even the smallest detail of his excitement, she would never let him live it down. He had sworn up and down that he didn’t care about Steve Rogers and he was not about to let Natasha make him eat his words.

Bucky was sure his face was still red from excitement or maybe embarrassment. He was trying to let the cold air that was coming in from the door that a customer had just opened cool his cheeks down.

“Hey, Nat, I’m going to step out for a few, I’ll be right back,” Bucky rushed out before she could react, walking over to the entrance.

He looked over at her while he put his jacket on. She was giving him a cheeky smile as she shook her head and tried her best to turn her attention back to the difficult customer.

Bucky began to walk down the sidewalk that was now covered with salt to prevent slipping. It was still lightly snowing, and it felt like the snowflakes that landed on his face just about melted off. He needed to calm down and act casual. This wasn’t a big deal. He and Steve were _just_ getting lunch.

Steve’s condition had been that Bucky treat him to lunch at an old restaurant that had been popular when they were young. Bucky hated to admit how quickly he jumped on the request, but he wanted Steve to play. He couldn’t believe that he was about to deliver the news that Steve was going to play in their game. He couldn’t believe that he was getting lunch with Steve. It’d felt like forever since he’d done anything with anyone that wasn’t his sister or Natasha. He really didn’t want to come off as the most awkward person on the planet, but he hadn’t done something like this in what seemed like forever.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself, he was excited. Steve was pleasant and it seemed easy to spend time with him. He was so charismatic and tall. He definitely made better conversation than Frosting did, honestly.

Bucky kept walking until he reached the small restaurant that stood near the plaza. He stood outside for a moment trying to collect his thoughts before pulling the door open and stepping inside.

He unzipped his jacket and looked around for the familiar head of blond hair. The restaurant wasn’t super big, but it was pretty busy, especially during the holidays when people came back to visit.

His eyes caught sight of a hand waving him over to a table near one of the windows. Steve was already sitting down with an appetizer of bread rolls that the place was well-known for. He had a bright grin on his face as he signaled Bucky over.

Bucky walked over to the table and placed his jacket on the back of his chair before sitting down.

“You know, I’m impressed,” Steve began to note, scooping butter onto his bread roll. “For a boss, you’re free to come and go from your job.”

Bucky chuckled as he sat down and broke off a piece of bread. “Not as easy as it seems. My friend, Natasha, will probably have my head when I get back. She’s a good friend but she isn’t afraid to call me out on my faults.”

“Seems like a good friend,” Steve laughed.

“Yeah, she’s definitely my favorite,” Bucky smiled, looking outside the window.

“So, this committee you’re on, tell me about it. What exactly is it that you do?” Steve asked him, looking up at him.

“We plan the Christmas festival and everything that goes into that. Do you remember the tree lighting? We have to get everyone on board with that and schedule the time and stuff,” Bucky explained, taking a sip of the water Steve had already ordered him.

“Hm, so this is your first year as the head? How’d you manage that?”

Bucky began to laugh, “Natasha did that. She put my name out there when the election came around a few months ago. I had been doing it for a few years but never as the head. She thought I had a fair chance of winning. It wasn’t a super competitive election if I’m being honest. Other than me, everyone else is pretty old.”

“Do they give you a hard time? I know how some people around here can be,” Steve asked, a smile playing on his lips.

“Oh, you wouldn’t imagine. They fight me tooth and nail,” Bucky rolled his eyes, letting out a chuckle.

“So, other than me, do you have anyone else to play?”

Bucky bit his bottom lip and swayed his head side to side. “Yes, well, sort of. It’s a little complicated. Every year, it gets harder to convince people to come to the game, let alone play. We’re hoping that since you’re playing, it’ll motivate people.”

“Ah, I see. So, I’m the big attraction this year?” Steve teased, watching Bucky’s face burn red.

“Oh, no! We just thought that maybe, if Steve Rogers wasn’t too cool for the hockey game, others would come. I promise it’s not like that,” Bucky clarified, not wanting Steve to change his mind.

“I’m just messing with you, Bucky,” Steve smiled.

“Well, this is my treat, after all, so please get whatever you’d like. You're doing me the biggest favor, trust me.”

“Hm, that’s a bit of a dangerous offer. You don’t know the limits of my appetite.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Bucky playfully bit back, letting himself relax.

“ _Hey_ , Steve Rogers!” A voice all too familiar to Bucky boomed.

Bucky felt the hands gripping his cup go stone cold and his body freeze. He had imagined seeing _him_ again a million times in his head and replaying made up scenarios at night, but this was never one. He didn’t want it to be this one. Not so exposed like this, not with Steve Rogers, and definitely not with this many people around.

Steve looked over with confusion and irritation. Bucky’s eyes fixated onto Steve’s shirt and he couldn’t feel the strength to move them away. He didn’t know what to do and his body wasn’t connecting to his brain.

Bucky wanted to leave, no, he _had_ to leave.

“Steve! It’s been years, holy shit. I’ve seen you playing on the NHL. You’ve been killing it, man. Never thought I'd see you around these parts again,” Loki came up to the table, a massive grin on his face.

Bucky felt like every ounce of strength he had built and tried to maintain over the years had just crumbled. He could faintly see Loki out of the corner of his eye, and it seemed like no time had passed since the last time he’d seen him. Loki still had the same hair, same smile, and even the same smell.

Bucky could feel his vision begin to slightly blur and his teeth trying to bite at the inside of his cheek to keep his emotions in check.

Steve reached down to grab a napkin to wipe his hand before shaking Loki’s and someone else’s.

“Hey, thanks, man. Yeah, came to see the family for the holidays,” Steve replied, suddenly reaching over to shake a smaller hand.

_Oh no, no. This isn’t happening_ , Bucky’s thoughts began to scream. This wasn’t happening to him right now. Out of all the possible places, it wasn’t here.

“This is my wife, Sharon. She’s a big fan and she really wanted to come over and say hello,” Loki smiled, sliding his arm around her waist.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sharon. I hate to be this person but I’m just trying to enjoy some lunch,” Steve tried to end the conversation, his brain finally beginning to connect what was happening.

Steve's eyes darted to Bucky and he could see that he looked like a deer caught in headlights. He was trying to end the conversation as soon as possible. The majority of it for Bucky's sake but the rest of him because, honestly, he hated when people bothered him during his personal time.

“No problem, but what’s got you back in town? I did not expect to see you around so soon,” Loki kept trying to continue their conversation.

Steve tried his best to maintain an eye roll because this was exactly the shit he hated. When people didn't take a hint and leave him alone. 

_I have to get out of here_ , Bucky panicked, finally snapping out of his daze.

He hastily stood up and grabbed his coat. He tried his best not to look over at the three of them as he began to walk the other way towards the door.

“Hey, Steve, I’ll see you later. I have to go,” Bucky rushed out, heading towards the door before Steve could reply.

**_From the Dining Table by Harry Styles_ **

Bucky put his jacket on as he walked down back to the bakery. He finally let his vision blur with tears that silently fell down his face. He had done his best to hold it together but now, he let it out. He couldn’t believe that had just happened. Just when he felt like he could let his guard down and enjoy life a bit, this happened.

He let himself take his time walking back to the bakery. He wasn’t about to walk in a blubbery mess, not when he had a business to run and especially not because of some asshole. He had grown in the years since he’d been with Loki and he didn’t want to continue feeling this way. He hated how much influence one person had over him and his emotions. He would have to reach out to Steve and apologize. 

Steve was probably thinking he was the rudest person alive and how he would probably not play anymore.

The bell above the bakery door rang when he stepped inside. There was a line of people at the register and Bucky could see Natasha’s red hair behind the counter.

“Ah, Bucky, you’re back! Perfect timing,” Natasha smiled.

Bucky walked over to the counter and grabbed his apron.

“I’ll go get some of the orders from the back,” he smiled, trying his best to put what had just happened behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Bucky but happy and mushy chapters lie ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

Bucky was sitting in his office trying to make sure he had all the paperwork for the current pay period up to date a few days later. It was one of his least favorite parts of running the bakery, but he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer if he wanted the Christmas season to flow smoothly. December was right around the corner and he had to be ready. The Christmas traditions started on the first of the month and there was still much to plan.

He was trying to take count of all the orders they still had to schedule when his cellphone began to ring.

He had been trying to stay calm and keep himself in order with everything going on. He hadn’t worked up the nerve to talk to Steve yet and he wasn’t sure what he was even going to say. He knew he had to apologize and try his best to keep Steve in the game.

He looked down in confusion when he saw it was Joann from the committee.

“Hey, Joann,” he answered, putting the phone on speaker.

“Bucky? Good morning, I have great news,” she stated, excitement evident in her voice.

“Yeah, what would that be?” He asked, trying to figure out what stunt she was trying to pull on him.

Joann loved pulling the rug out from under him.

“We just got someone to sign up for the annual hockey game! It’s someone who ran into Steve the other day and got encouraged to play. I knew this was a good idea, with Steve being back in town,” Joann gloated as if she had singlehandedly put everything together.

“Who?” Bucky asked, already dreading the answer.

Bucky felt like his head was spinning with the frustration of this decision being made without him. Although he was head, the others could still outvote him.

“Loki Laufeyson, he used to play hockey at the local high school. Do you remember him from school? I’m not sure if you two were in the same grade together or not,” Joann began to get sidetracked.

“Uh, yes, I know him. That’s great news,” Bucky swallowed, dismay filling him.

“I just wanted to give you a call with everything and to check on how it’s going with you getting Steve Rogers? Are there any updates?”

Bucky rested his head against the wall beside the desk. “It’s coming along, things are looking good. I’ll let you know later on when we meet up again.”

“Well, that just sounds promising!”

Bucky looked up when Natasha suddenly appeared in the small doorway of the back office. She had a smile on her face and was motioning with her hand for him to follow her.

“Bucky,” she whispered, pointing to the front.

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and shook his head in question.

Natasha shot him an aggravated look and began mouthing for him to follow her.

Their standoff lasted for a moment before Bucky rolled his eyes and stood up.

“Hey, listen, I have to go,” he ended the call before Joann could respond.

“What’s going on?” Bucky asked Natasha, putting his phone away.

“Come on,” Natasha urged, already walking out.

Bucky followed her out of the office into the front where Steve Rogers was patiently waiting.

Natasha shot him a playful smile before turning back to Steve. “Sorry, I had to drag him out of there.”

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important,” Steve apologized.

“No, it’s alright,” Bucky reassured him, walking over to where Steve was standing.

“Do you mind if we go somewhere to talk for a moment?” Steve asked, motioning towards the back office.

“Um, yeah, come on,” Bucky responded, leading him back towards the office.

Bucky walked the few steps towards the back into the office. He wasn’t sure what Steve was about to say but he hoped that he wouldn’t bring up what happened at the restaurant.

“What can I do for you?” Bucky looked up, readjusting his hair that was falling around his face.

“I’m sorry about what happened the other day, with Loki,” Steve frowned, looking down at his snow boots.

Bucky laughed.

Bucky felt himself break out into a small fit of laughter. For the first time in a few days, he felt his mood lift.

Steve eyed him with a puzzled look. “What’s so funny? I was worried, you know.”

“I’m sorry for laughing, but why are _you_ apologizing? You didn’t do anything, that’s why I’m laughing,” Bucky explained, looking over at Steve with a chuckle.

“I mean, I feel a bit guilty. I chose the place and you had told me how hard that was for you when your relationship ended. I felt awful when you left when I realized who that was,” Steve clarified.

“I appreciate that, thank you. But, please, don’t feel bad. You couldn’t have known he would be there. I need to stop pretending that he doesn’t exist and that he isn’t here. I knew there was a possibility because this is a small town and that’s a popular place.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

Bucky smiled, “what? No, I should be the one making it up to you for leaving and not buying your lunch. It was my treat, remember?”

“Well, my condition has changed now. You have to let me buy you lunch somewhere you’ve never been, and then I will play in your game.”

“Steve, please, you don’t have to do that,” Bucky shook his head, completely dismissing the idea.

“I have made up my mind, sorry. So, I see that calendar you have on your desk. I think you should look around for a time that you’re not busy so we can squeeze that condition in.”

“Steve, come on,” Bucky laughed, rolling his eyes.

Steve pulled his phone out and handed it to Bucky. It was the contact application where you could input a new number.

“Here, put your number in and _whenever_ you find the time, I can come to pick you up. I’ve decided we are going a few towns over, who knows, maybe the city. I think this place has lost its charm; we’ll go explore. We’ll coordinate and besides, I think you are in need of a night away from this place,” Steve smiled, happy with his idea.

“Steve, —” Bucky started to protest before Steve stopped him in his tracks.

“I have a super important grocery run to make for my mom who’s making dinner and I’m afraid I need your number. She _really_ needs some brussels sprouts so I must be on my way soon,” Steve reaerated, shaking his head.

Bucky couldn’t deter him, but he complied once he understood that Steve wasn’t backing down. He took Steve’s phone and put his number in with the contact name _Bucky but James but Bucky_.

“Perfect, I will see you soon,” Steve beamed, before stepping out and shooting Bucky a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, date night here we come :-)


End file.
